is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
