after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
