The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
