8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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