This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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