whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
