Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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