i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
