tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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