Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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