I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
