My brain says no but my pants say off.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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