Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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