Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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