no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
