I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
