Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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