I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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