Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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