just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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