Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
