i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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