What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
