it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
