Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
