Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
