everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Less talking, more tequila
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
