We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
