Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
