Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
