yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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