Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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