Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
