I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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