my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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