she told me i tasted like america
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
