All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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