You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
