some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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