Buhtt sex?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
