Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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