I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
