508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
