I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
