A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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