i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
