operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
