alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
