Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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