i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
