There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
